jackying

2007-01-04T09:32:00.000+08:00

my 2007 new year resolution - IS TO BE HAPPY.

maybe i search too hard for happiness.
maybe i pin my hopes to high and i forgot what is happiness.
maybe i am too pressurized to try to be happy.
and in the end i get disappointed.
i will try to lower it then.
and maybe i will be happier this way.

2007-01-03T13:34:00.000+08:00

i want to let go of eveything and lead my own life
i am so tired.
once and again, i am being let down.
i find it so hard..
so hard for any simple thing to happen.
its just a fucking game.
so everyone get played ok.
no strings attached.
so pissed with eveything
because of you.

2006-12-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

i am tired.
i am s0o tired.

i need a break.
i want to be away.

i want to be away from the hassle
i want to go travelling.

i want my life back.
i want to be a normal 19 year old.

had been so uptight with work.
and kinda emotional very easily.

i had been really down.
things are just very blurry.

everything i do, i have to rush.
i need to slow down my pace and take a breather.

it has been so hard to be happy.
i forgot what it was like to laugh out loud.

my best therapy - shopping.
i dont have where the money went, all i know is they went out of my account.

my second best therapy - emo songs after songs after songs.
give me a stupid excuse to cry over i dont know what.

my third therapy - get a very different haircut!
try something different with fascinating colours!

i want to smile genuinely, from the bottom of my heart.
i want to love and be loved wholeheartedly.

i want a life filled with love and happniess.
i want myself to be cheerful and stressful.

i guess thats my christmas list.
i dont need anything material, practical or whatsoever.

2006-12-02T10:37:00.000+08:00

i have to blog this!
i was flagging for cab after work
so i just flagged direct outside my office for abt 15 mins
then went over to padang
then to raffles hotel
then to raffles place
and finally to peninsula plaza.
for that one hour, either the queue is damn long or they are hired or on call or those stupid empty cabs refuse to stop.
whenever you want to take cab there is none around.
i was so desperate i was about to go to zouk for the 50 gorgeous people party and go home after that.
i bet they are at least 5 empty cabs outside clark quay, MOS, ZOUK, MOMO waiting for passengers.
the queue at peninsula plaza was the shortest but still there are abt 10 people in front of me.
called for a cab there but had to wait for about 15 mins.

UNTIL one min later..
one cab driver with sorethroat was moving along the queue and asking ANYBODY GOING TO QUEENSTOWN?
DAMN STUNNED.
THE FEELING WAS LIKE I WON THE 6 MILLION TOTO.
i was waving my hand and ME ME!
and arrogantly pushed my way past the people in front of me.
FUCKING PRICELESS.
i am always going to remember that moment.

i feel so good just posting it here.
haha
now i am going to buy that cab's car plate number. =)

CHEERS!

2006-11-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

playing hard to get doesn't have to be bad.
it might be so not give you the wrong idea.
not to mislead you.

don't be disheartened.
there's alwaes a rainbow after the rain. YEAH!

i need retail therapy.
i want to spend money.
because.. i also dunno..
or manybe a get away holiday,
i need a break..seriously..
away from the rush..

christmas is nearing. =)
i hope christmas is going to be fun.
but i have no idea what i am doing..

people out there!
if you know when is the zara sale, please sms or email or call or tag me!
your info is very much appreciated!

and i am setting up an online store.
so stay tuned!
LOVE! =D

2006-11-16T22:30:00.001+08:00

finally, i am updating! a few of my friends just got attached. i feel so happy for them! congratulations =D. LOVE IS IN THE AIR~ (must be because the christmas is drawing near and people want to share the joy and love around..=P) anyway, may all have long and lasting relationships! heehee. and i listen to them talk about the whole process of being wooed or wooing people, go for their first dates, watching their movies, getting to know each other better, holding hands and all the sweet things they or their partners did. awww.. so sweet...

and i realised how much i have missed them too. sigh. all those are kinda like sweet memories already, they aint real and happening anymore. i miss the feeling very much. its like when you two are together already, after the "honeymoon" period, then the wooing part ends and then it will go to a steady relationship, with nothing very exciting happening. or probabaly it has gotten into its comfort zone and its kinda like a routine.

the wooing part is so fun! so exciting and so surprising. when a person wants to get you, he/she will go all the way, with silly ideas or surprises or flowers and chocolates, etc. to get you. but i think more importantly, is when he/she got you, what happens then? then all the exciting things still happen, like what you two used to do when you guys are not together YET? or things will start to become a routine. everytime you will do the same things together.

nah. i aint saying that it is bad or anything negative. but its just a thought.
when you enter the comfort zone, will things be like the "honeymoon" period? everything still new and you want to go to every single places with him/her and leave foorprints everywhere, with so much memories spent together.? or you just go to your comfort regular hangout places?

i guess if you really want to come out of your comfort zone, you have to be proactive ya? but i guess, there is no point being one sided proactive and the other so negative about moving out of comfort zone - reluctant to move on. then how do we go about it?

i wonder. and wonder.

memories. and memories.

2006-11-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!
i hate you!

i can't believe it.
i actually said bye.
i think i gave you more respect than you actually deserved.
fuck you.

2006-10-22T16:26:00.000+08:00

these are the photos for HUIMIN's birthday!
we had dinner at New York New York..
which has a rather nice place..but i think the food was just so-so..
but not bad..can give it a try..haha..
and we went Eski Bar later..
hmm.. dun really like it there..
but its a nice experience.. cold and freezing..

its so fun!
i want to go to school..i dun want to work!

2006-10-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

all i wanted was to be happy..
really blissfully happy..
then again, i dun think its possible, is it?
maybe i expect too much..
have too high expectations..
everyone has different standards of happiness..
some may feel happy just catching up with friends/cousins/classmates/colleagues..
some may want to enjoy a shopping spree..

in a relationship,
some may feel happy simply just a 'i miss you' or 'i love you'..
some may feel happy just being able to see the other party..
or maybe even a 10 min talk on the phone every night..
for some, to be happy he/she expects a present for every date..
for some, as long as they go enjoy a good dinner/lunch together..
and some, having a heart-to-heart talk is able to make them float..
what about you?
what is happiness to you?
do you need a diamond ring? car? present? money? or just seeing the person to be happy?

there will be disappointment, saddness, angryness, jealousy, doubtfulness
and whatever feelings that will make you not feel happy..

then suddenly you dunno what to do..
to cry, to laugh it off and pretend nothing happen or to treat it like the world has just collapse or tell the whole world abt it or keep it to yourself and wallop in your own misery or blaming yourself?

so, what is the best way to handle unhappiness?

like i said, everyone has a different way of handling.
for me, i am still trying to figure out myself.

everyone tag and tell me about your own unique way ok!
this is a share and tell session. =)

2006-10-13T19:53:00.000+08:00

One day, a girl skipped excitedly all the her way to the meeting place , they decided to meet.
It was so long since they last met and she had so many things in mind to tell him.
Upon reaching, she was surprised to see him there already (as he is usually the later one) and even more surprised when there was another girl next to him.
So with just a brief kiss and hug and no introduction of who that girl was, they went on their "threesome" shopping spree.
It was such a weird feeling because he merely asked her how was your day and then turned his attention back to the girl.
A million questions ran thru her mind.
"Who's that girl? What is she doing here? I havent seen her before, have I? Doesnh't she feel extra? ..."
Her shopping and jolly mood was totally ruined. She was left in her own world. Totally alone.
The two of them were chatting so happily behind her while she was just bascially walking thru the building all alone without looking at anything.
Suddenly, she couldn't stand it anymore. She rushed up to the rooftop for a smoke and cry her lungs out.
As she guessed it, he didn't care.
Because while looking for them, she found them queueing at the ticket box.
He probably didn't notice she disappeared in the first place.

Thats all for the story, because there's no ending to it.

2006-09-30T10:52:00.000+08:00

Sadness
Ultimately, to grieve our lesses means to surrender to our feelings.
So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good-byes, have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.
Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out Of Africe.
"If you put them in prison," one character said, describing this tribe, "they die."
"Why?" asked another character.
"Because they can't grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die."
Many of us have so much grief to get though. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is permanent condition.
The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimising them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.
It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.
(from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie)

2006-09-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

AHH! i give up..
i hate uploading pictures..
i selected so blurdy many
and it took such a freaking long time
then alwaes fail..
grr..alright..
if u want to see more..
go to www.zuizongyao.blogspot.com ok..
i guarantee you.. the pictures there are more exciting. haha.
YES EDDIE?
he actually gave a brief 5 day description of what happened there and quite a full album of photographs as backed up. so do visit if u are feeling bored. haha.

this is the third week of attachment already.
which means another 19 more weeks to go.
so torturing. but hmm.. something different..
i miss shopping..
i am so near suntec, marina, bugis..
but after work, i am so drained..
we always have no more energy to shop..
we just want to go home and rest rest rest..
tmr is a wednesday!!
half of the week is gone already..
weekends weekends..
everyone loves weekends! =)

2006-09-16T19:55:00.000+08:00

2006-08-10T09:44:00.000+08:00

8th september! i want to go! $120.
18th november! i want to go. again!
Standard - S$300, S$250, S$200, S$130
Free Seating - S$160, S$80, S$60, S$40
Free Standing - S$100

caught this dae a few days ago.
damn nice can. highly recommended.
adam sandler never fail to amaze us with his sense of humour.
and AND.. kate beckinsale is damn hot ok.
think of the underlying message.
appreciate life in a whole new way. thumbs up!

2006-07-31T12:37:00.000+08:00

i am working for this event. =)

2006-07-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

wadeva happened in the past..
i shall not rake it up..
i shall now start afresh.

treat this as a first entry.
might be going for attachment which has to work like euro hours. 4pm to 2am
i dunno whether to be happy or sad.
i dunno whether to laugh or cry.
for the 5.5 months, my habits will change i guess.
i wonder what is going to be become of my lifestyle and all.
for now, i shall think of some positive things for me to be happy about.

school is actually ending. and i will be off for attachment (that is if i am chosen.)
and if i am, which means this is the last sem in the school.
sigh. what am i going to do.
i wish i am a guy and have 2 more years to go NS and stall some time.
sigh. cos i really dunno what to do.

i am so stuck.
i have to make decisions.
but i dun want to choose.
eventually, i still have to.
i want a win-win situation.
but is that really possible?
can both parties be happy?

in life, when u do something,
only put yourself in their shoes,
but dun put them infront of you.

when u place the other person at such high position with such importance,
are u sure the person treats you with such importance as well.
is the other person going to do the same thing back for you when the same situation happens.

sometimes its kinda tiring when u try to compromise here and there.
so that both parties can be happy.
dun u feel like u are living in their shoes.
why cant u lead your own life and live for urself.
instead of making them happy, why not make urself happy.
instead of living for them, live for yourself.
wadeva u do, u do it for yourself.
make urself happy before making others happy.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.

2006-05-23T21:16:00.000+08:00

alright..todae is exactly one month since i blogged..
this sem so many things happened..sigh..
some dates are just meant to be remembered for this whole lifetime..
its is only the fifth week of school reopen..
and i already received a letter saying that i skipped 2 classes..and if i were to skip somemore, i will be debarred...oh wadeva..
had been real busy..havent seen attending much of lectures..
and the projects are piling..
year 3 is like super project based..
and the modules aint easy at all..
i am working too!! which adds on the tiredness..
and taking an external course..which adds on the stress level..

lets look on the bright side of things..
next week is study break..so no school..
err..which means the week after is common tests..
alright i know i said look at the bright side..and common tests are not..
but is after the common tests is..
IT IS TWO WEEKS OF HOLIDAYS!
aint that cool.. another chance to go overseas..
and u noe what is even cooler, my birthdae is during that 2 weeks of break!!
YEAH! i am so happy..
once again my birthdae is resume back to be celebrated during holidaes..i love!
terrible.. this birthdae is the last time my age is going to start with a 1..
a sign that i am getting old..
nevertheless, i am going to enjoy myself to the max...yeppie..
this is a hint!
if you dunno wad to get for me, just get me birthday card! haha..
peiying loves birthday cards! thank you =)

alright i will try to update as much as i can..

in the meantime, some outdated photos..

AT KL..=)

DURING BAoc..the BIG family..

my first outing!!=)

2006-04-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

yeah! i am finally awake.
BAoc is over!! yeppie yeah!!
i shall start with the last dae and back to the first dae..=)
yesterdae was the fourth day.
before that, i was thinking whether to go for the fourth day.
cos its like damn boring..damn stupid..
but in the end i still went..but was 2 hours late..
slack until afternoon then the actual event started..
we were cheering like idiots cos the MCs were damn high and hyper as they didnt cheer for the first 3 daes..we just cheered along..haha..
then it was like sec. sch sports dae..where u have telematches..
anyway, we won first! yeah!!
then went to fish and co. for dinner with the big family..
I HAVE TO ADMIT IT WAS MY FIRST OUTING WITH THEM..=)
it was fun larhx..do paiseh things..break fish and co. record..and cab home when they were finally closing..you just sit and laugh and laugh and laugh..damn funny bunch of people.. LOVE!
the third dae which is the finale at convention centre.
it was the last dae for most of them.
went to school early to run thru performance and pageant..
when the thing finally started at 2..we were the biggest group..=)
so we cheered and cheered..i love our performance..i think it was great..
it was the best performance..GREAT JOB GUYS!
and our pageants. the guy got second! yeah!
though the girl didnt get any placing, but i really thank her.
she is really great..really spontaneous. she took part in both the pageant and the performance. imagine how much she had to learn and practice overnight.
SCO performance was crap larhx. damn impromptu. and who the hell said there was encore!! =)
and we got the most spontaneous group!! oh well..we were actually aiming for best cheer/best OG..but never mind..everyone got a fair shair of awards..so..no complains..
but WE WILL WIN THE WAR. got BEST CHEER. WTF! haha..=X
but didnt went for dinner with SBs cos was damn tired already..
SORRY GUYS..you guys still had fun right..
the second day was sports dae.
it was quite a slack dae..cos my station for sports dae was to sit in the canteen and do the game. there isnt much to do actually. and we could eat the whole dae..haha..
after my station we got to walk around and check out the other stations and help to cheer for our group and support them. so not that tiring..
but had to stay till really late. for rehearsal of the performance, pageants.
and had dinner really late too..
the first dae was orientation dae.
the first dae it was normal..just did ice breaking and teaching the freshies our cheers..
it isnt fun saying the same things 3 times. haha..cos we had 3 sessions..
oh well..and we were spotting for performance and pageant people..
but i wasnt really into it. cos i had too many helpers doing the job.
had dinner really late at bukit timah food centre..
and went to rachel's house to camp..haha..

thats the summary larhx..i dun wnat to go into details..damn tiring and damn long..
photos are still transferring in progress..i will upload when they are ready to be seen by public..
i have to thank all for coming and making bombastic mombasa the most spontaneous group and making these 3 daes a success..

special thanks:
to eddie for being the cheer leader..
to the ID, exam hall, banner,performance and flag team for all their effort and dropping by school to finish wadeva tasks they were allocated to..
to fantastic 4 for coming to school everydae with me.. =)
and to rachel..my partner..for working together and making all these possible. HUGS!

2006-04-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

gosh! we went to town on wednesdae. intending to check out prices of phones.
but we went to levis FIRST with no intention of getting anything. JUST PURE SHOPPING.
but when we reached, we had to got so high and excited that we had to get something no matter whether it is nice or not. as long as it fits. haha.
we were in the store for one hour. walking in and out of the fitting room. saying 'excuse me' to whoever were blocking our ways. trying to dig like aunties for nice bottoms and tops. elbowing at people who were looking at sizes 25 when they are obviously at least 29. wtf larhx.
then finally drag ourselves out of the store after a few buys and went over to lucky plaza to look for phones. which is our main objective of coming to town.
after one hour of searching for phones, we had no idea how come our legs brought us back to levis again. and we shop for another one hour.
SOMEBODY HAD TO SHOP LIKE THERE WILL BE NO MORE LEVIS STORE TOMORROW.
AND GET THE SAME PAIR OF LEVIS WHEN HE ALREADY HAD, BUT IN A DIFFERENT COLOUR.
AND DUN MIND BUYING THE JEANS IN A FEW SIZES BIGGER, AND HAD TO WEAR BELT, JUST BECAUSE IT IS CHEAP. (he insisted that it is nice too! oh well..)
HE HAD TO GET SO MANY PAIRS OF LEVIS TO THE EXTEND THAT HE CAN WEAR DIFFERENT PAIR OF LEVIS EVERY DAY FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK!
but the sale was totally crazy. haha.
I LOVE LEVIS!

2006-04-11T14:03:00.000+08:00

i am so super duper bored to the core.
finally took a day off..
but i realised i dun have much to do at home either.
nobody seems to have time to go out..haha..
i shall spend some time alone with myself! =D
finally next week is BAoc. gosh.
it is going to be here so soon.
the 3 daes are going to fly past faster than it actually came.
then after the 3 daes.
i am so going to miss the SCOs and ASCOs. alot.
we have bonded together. haha..
after BAoc would also means school reopen. boo! boo! boo!
school starts means projects, tutorials, lectures, blah!
but first week only lectures..but still i aint going..haha..
because this is the last year already..
therefore i am going to play super hard haha..and try to study as hard too..
i want to download some new games for my phone.
but i dun exactly noe any games that are available.
i want to get a new phone. so that my old phone can retire.
but i can only get a normal looking phone.
no slide, no glip, no spin. which is so uncool.
i am trying to look for a normal but nice and cool phone but this is terribly difficult.
i shall try harder then.

2006-04-08T13:59:00.000+08:00

alright. update. check out his new phone.
the photo from his phone.

went to shaun's party. caught up with each other's life.
bitch around and we took pictures.
all the 4 girls. :)

me. mer. and kaiting. =D

just me and mer. =)

2006-04-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

orientation is in 2 weeks time. i really cant wait. i bet the three days is going to come and go with the wink of an eye. i am so bloody sick of school. all these orientation driving me a bit crazy. headache lehx. i go to school like i am having a 11 - 6 job. every single day. if only i get paid. well if only. cos i am damn close to broke. sigh. but i still want to go holidaes. at least take a little short break. before this school reopens. and it is going to be the final lap. oh well.. time really flies very fast. 3 years of poly life just flew like that. next year have to apply for uni already and study for another 3 to 5 years for a uni degree or something. then have to enter working society. haha.
i am dying to have a job. would somebody please employ me. and if u have lobang please tell me. thank you. haha.
i shall end here. i am talking nonsense. i am sleepy.

2006-03-30T21:45:00.000+08:00

alright. blogging time.
time table is out! yeah!
lets start on the happy things.
1. mon and fri end at 1pm. YEAH!
2. thurs is IS day = end at 12pm [i like mon, thurs and fri]
3. there are no 8am class
4. there are classes that start at 11am/1pm.
5. i am taking treasury!
6. nancy yeo, mrs choo, mrs tsang are teaching us (again)!

and now on the unhappy things.
1. penny thong is teaching us again. WTF
2. penny thong's lecture is the first lecture of tuesday.
3. penny thong's tutorial class is at 4pm - 6pm every wednesday.
4. basically penny thong spoils my tuesday and wednesday
5. no wait! as long as penny thong is teaching me this sem. it sux!
" anymore?", " more please", "are you ok? gimme a smile." OH SHUT UP!

recap wad i did this week.
i practically went to school every single day.without fail.
and yes i am supposedly having my holidaes.
but well, i guess i am not exactly enjoying.
i am so damn sick of school. really super duper sick.
i just have to live with it. its just about 2 more weeks to the actual orientation, which means 3 more weeks to school reopen.
since first week of school only have to attend lecture.
so i shall take that week to rest. haha. 4 more weeks to school reopen. OFFICALLY. =D
preparation was rather alright. though it might be boring cos we all alwaes doing the same thing but the company definitely make up for it. =)
i appreciate all who has been making the preparation alive. =)

2006-03-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

i apologized for the outdated entries.
brief summary cos i am damn tired.
had been darn busy with baoc preparation.
going to school everydae like it isnt holidae.
hmmm..so far so good.
i am rather happy with my group's progress.
we all need a break soon.

got results todae.
i am satisfied with it. haha. =))

went MOS last night to check out the FHM THE GIRL NEXT DOOR competition.
my cousin got me on VIP list. yeah. so i didnt had to queue.
i was damn proud of it. haha.
good job darling. so pretty.

i shall put up some outdated and updated photos. haha.
so i am lazy to type.

SENTOSA PHOTOS. there are many new and cool things at sentosa. so check them out!

AND NOW..
ayumi's belated birthday celebration at billy bombers. we had an interesting and fun day!

AND NOW..
FHM GIRL NEXT DOOR 2006

he is missing. and i miss him. if anyone found him, please return him to me. thank you. =D

2006-03-16T11:46:00.000+08:00

last week was so bored..so i rent dvds..so i finish these..

yucks. this show is fcuking gross larhx. i was kinda turn off by it. seriously. somemore the audio was pretty lousy. so i couldnt much hear wad the hell the 2 gays were trying to say. anyway, i personally dun like this show. i dunno why they won oscars.

i dunno why i rented this show. it was so slow moving and it is stupid. i had to pause to take 3 short naps before finally finishing the whole show.

alright. this is the typical comedy singaporeans like. but personally, i find it boring. it aint that funny to me. maybe they are dirty jokes that guys will like. haha. well..=D

another typical bitchy show girls will like. but what they portray is quite true but obviously they exaggerate larhx. so..=)

I LIKE THIS SHOW! this is good. damn good. i know why they won oscars. haha.

i caught this show yesterdae. this is a damn good show. though the middle is a little slow. but the start and end totally make up for it. from the director of the matrix trilogy.

2006-03-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

we are going to the zoo zoo zoo
how about you you you
you can come too too too
we are going to the zoo zoo zoo!
yeah! we went to the zoo yesterdae!
how cool is that..
the last time i went to the zoo it was like pri 6 man!
haha..7 years! gosh..see how the zoo change..
we just couldnt resist and stop trying to not act childish and start going "WOAH!", "COOL!", "SO CUTE!" with the rest of the kids..haha
this is just one of the photo we had to take! =D

this pretty thing! i LOVE!
he is the reason why we went to the zoo!

SWEETS =)

2006-03-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

hmm..went to school todae for combined meeting..
everything is out and confirm..
so i guess everything will start next week..
prepartion, brain storming and blah blah..
anyway, went to town later in search for ayumi's present..=)
and we are like so into vcd rental right now..
we are going crazy..
travelling here and there in search of nice movies and place to rent and cheapest rate..
it is totally hilarious..
anyway, we went to check out video ezy at tiong bahru first..
3 dvds at $13.50 for 7 daes..
i find it rather expensive..but then again its dvds..so yah..
and then i went down to dawson place..
i tell you dun look down on that pathethic little thing at queenstown that you would never be able to bring yourself to call it a shopping centre..
besides have a ntuc there and a seven eleven and a nice little manicure shop..
i seriously cannot bring myself to go there unless i have to do any of the 3 errands i listed as above..
UNTIL 7 MARCH 2006, 745PM..
my view of dawson place totally changed..
DAWSON PLACE IS THE COOLEST PLACE EVER.
it has the cheapest vcd rental shop man..
though it is rather ulu..haha..
but i tell you..
the show they have may not be the ultimate latest movies but at least it is acceptable larhx..
it is damn cheap..1 movie for $3 and for 2 daes..
gosh..i totally got high on air at the moment..
oh well.. i foresee myself visiting dawson place every other day..
wearing the most slack i can ever be and rent vcds and be back home within minutes..
and be in hibernating mode..gosh!
dawson place is even cooler than town man! haha..
thats all for todae..cheers..movie time! =)

2006-03-06T13:17:00.000+08:00

back from kota!
had a nice camp..it is rather interesting..
we had solo night on the first night..
its was rather alright..
the river was beside me so there was alot of water sound..
and the stars.. the stars were simply awesome!!
basically we went there to play games, noe more people and have fun.
we ran 6km.. i cant believe..i actually ran 6km!
therefore, right now my poor body is aching except for my ass..
this sux! it really hurts..big time..i am as good as limping..
now photo time..

i was ironing my clothes this morning..
and i realised how much clothings i have..
i actually took 2 and a half hour to finish ironing all of them..
guess wad! i dun have enough hangers to hang them..
my mum simply do not want to buy hangers..
even though all of us just keep buying and buying new clothes..
she thinks that by doing that we will be discourage to buy more clothes..
oh well..wishful thinking..
it is crazy fighting for hangers!
i am going ikea to get my own personalize hangers..
and maybe later a new walk-in wardrobe..
this is maddening..i have enough clothes to last me for about 3 months..haha..

todae as i woke up..
i know it is going to be different..
it is the first time i am experiencing this..
this is going to be over very soon..
and everything will be back to normal..
back to how it was..

PICTURE PERFECT!

2006-03-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

YEAH..its over its over! =)
finally my proper 7 weeks of holidays since march 05.
gosh! i am so deprived..
i still can't get over the fact that it's over!!
suddenly i dunno wad to do..
cos i dun have to mug anymore..
i dun need to read notes anymore..
hmm..i am mad..
i had been talking seriously a lot of crap..
i dunno wad happened to me..

you know why is it that there is hatred between 2 person?
it is because they are too alike.
they tend to be the same. so one person couldnt stand the sight of another person who is like the same as you.
i really dun like you.
your sight makes me wish that i was blind.
your voise makes me wish that i was deaf.
your presence makes wish that i was invinsible.
your actions makes me wish that i was air so that i can be away from you.
i think i dun like you its because that you are like me.
you know why you are like me?
because you are copying me.
you are simply someone who does not have any originality.
i wouldn't say i am the most original. but do you have to copy me?
grr..you may say that i have no copyright law or wadsoever to this.
but it is pretty obvious isnt it?
wad are you trying to prove? to be like twins..?
wearing identical costumes.
how retarded can you get. gosh!
sometimes you really surprise me with your actions.
grrrr...you are the only one who can make my blood boils.
alright. i will try to be nice to you.
i wish you would be nice too.
oh well. you shan't spoil my holidays.
there is no way you can.

alright. i finish cmplaining about my unhappiness.
i feel so much better.
oh..i will be gone for and be back on saturday.
take care for now..
enjoy ur holidaes everyone.
cheers X)

2006-03-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

yeah!! one last paper left..
sigh. this year the paper are tough larhx.
i barely cannot finish them..
anyway, i just can't wait for tmr to come.
last paper and 7 weeks of holidaes! =)
finally a proper holidae ever since last march..
this is exciting and tempting..*grins
lacked alot of sleep..my body clock is screwed up..

my new possesion..

i got it! yeah!

and the model..haha =)

i caught a rainbow from my house! pretty.

TO JACKSON LOH: I WON!

2006-02-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

life had been like a roller coaster.
i have no idea what i am doing.
feeling emotional now and then.
which is not very good.

oh man, i cant believe how fast time flies.
i am turning nineteen this year!
and the ending of year 2.
next year, when our age is going to start with a 2! we would have graduated by then. and we are entering the uni or working society! oh no.
guys would be shaving their heads, waiting to be enrole for thier honourable role to the society.
gosh. and we are not young anymore!
the youth lifespan is damn short.
i dun want it to end.
i have yet to do enjoy it fully.
i have this whole list of yet-to-do stuffs.
and i can say it isnt short.
blink of an eye, we would be attending friends' wedding dinners, uni graduations, baby's first month celebration, reading on papers somebody we know owned what company, being an entrepreneur, richest person in singapore, etc.
oh man. this is like super duper fast.
and this suddenly occur to me.
i wonder who will be the first to get married. and to have the first kid.
isnt it exciting.
you never know what is going to happen.
the person who is least likely to make that happen might make that happen.
haha. we will all know when the time comes. =)
all these excitement..haha..
i dunno why..
but i feel so much better and happier typing this blog..
maybe its all the future plans and dreams and excitement.
it actually REALLY excites me! haha..

The smile is the sweetest when love is all around.

2006-02-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

i shouldn't be blogging but i cant study..
i can't concentrate..
i am not mentally there..
i can't seems to focus..
there is just something bigger, more important that keeps distracting me..
it is there because i dun want to face it..
i want to run away..put it all away..so i dun have to deal with it..
but its haunting..it just won't go away..
i need to talk about it..but i have got no guts..
there is nothing wrong and i dunno why i am taking this so badly..
there is something wrong with me..

i need a break..
a break from life..
i need to breathe..
breathe normally..
there are a few offers to go overseas..
but i dun feel like going anywhere..
i really dun want..
though i feel like breathing some fresh new air..
go for a relax trip..
but i dunno if i go..would i feel better or worse..
sigh..there is just this another big reason i dun want to go..
well.sigh..

there is so much i want to say..
but i only this much time..
there is just no way i can finish saying what i want to say..
i am just not given enough time to finish..
i might never get what i want to say to you..

2006-02-15T17:47:00.000+08:00

yesterdae was valentine's day. =]

all the florists must be earning big bucks in singapore, the roses were at least double the normal rate but there were so many girls on the streets carrying bouquet of flowers. well, for me i find flowers rather impractical. basically, this flower craze thing on valentine's day whether the girl likes flowers or not, its because of the face. maybe some girls really really like flowers, so its ok. for those who don't, they want to receive flowers cos they dun want to lose out to other people. if you happen to walk into a restaurant, every lady has a bouquet, but u dun. you would feel lose out, like no face. this is so chinese traditional thinking. gosh! this is actually lead to your boyfriend's pocket having a big hole. anyway, it is the thought that counts. out of all the presents that is usually given on vdae, i love receiving cards the most! haha. =]

now back to yesterdae, after delaying for a few hours in the morning due to some unintended stuffs, we met up at 1pm. and went to holland for lunch. it was crap weather and we were both starving. so settled for sushi teh. it was crowded but we were lucky enough to get a table! =] ate the exortic raw stuffs, its damn good there. i like! saw a lobster being slaughtered..and served while the legs and eyes were still moving..it wasn't a nice scene. then went to yiling's house to give her a surprise, but we got suprised in the end. she wasnt home. so we lingered at the void deck until she came back. and it was so fun at her place, wasn't it? HAHA. the car came! went to pick her friends and went to her friend's place for a while. and we head now to ECP. it was a long journey. but i was sleeping. birthday boy cut the cake. and we went to the lagoon there to settle down. we were bbqing. it was quite a sight cos every other couple were enjoying the scenery, sweet talking, wadsoever..but we were starting up the fire. so we were eating and eating all the way. it has nice music, good weather and a full moon. =] but there aren't any stars! =[ east coast has changed quite a bit. the old hawker has renovated and now its big and so busy like newton's.

it is a very different vday from the rest. nice and sweet. simple yet beautiful. i ended the day with a smile. i hope everyone enjoyed their day too. thank you darling. =)

THE PHOTOS..

this was part of our lunch..

getting comfortable.

2006-02-13T10:09:00.000+08:00

i dunno what to type here..
empty spaces usually scares me..
alright i shall recap what i did..
fridae went fine..celebrated lim's and lay ping's birthdae..
normal casual celebration..nothing horrible..
went ps to repair eddie's spoilt D500 AGAIN..[damn, that phone just sux!]
and went to manhattan fish market and gave lim a treat..
the fish is huge and the sprite is WOW..and the calamari is never ending..
did shopping and bought a ton..cabbed back to school..
did stupid things and left early..
went to holland and eat XO fish head..feasted another time on good food..
and walked half a journey home..
it was a long, almost fun but totally empty day..
sat was fine..went to lim's hse and majong, watch vcd..
hmm..bad experience in the noon..well..
after majong, cabbed down to yew tee..huimin went to her grandma's hse and we went home..
it was so near yet so far..
anyway, it was just another empty day..
hmm..why does the truth alwaes hurts..
how do we take it so that it wouldnt hurt..
do we face it with a smile..or pretend that it didnt happen..
gosh! this is just life..
yesterdae was chinese's valentine's day.
and tomrrow is feb. 14th.
happy valentine's day to all =)
it would be valentine's day everyday..if you have the right partner..
this is so not true..
i will post photos when i get them..be patient.

i dunno what to expect..

2006-02-11T11:43:00.000+08:00

ON THE FIRST DAY:
MY ALMOST EVERYONE PRESENT FAMILY!

the girl cousins..=)

AND AGAIN..

ON THE SECOND DAY:
MY FAMILY

MY ELDEST COUSIN n I

2006-02-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

yeah!! my laptop is back..
it has been ages since i last blogged cos my laptop decided to gave way..
i dunno if this is going to be the last time or there are many more times coming..
hmm..anyway..life had been happening..
finished all projects and presentations le..finally..
everything is above average..satisfaction =)
hmm..had been really forgetful these days..
i went to deposit money into my account and i just happily walk off without taking my atm card..
and only realised i lost the card 5 days later when the replacement card is already on the way..
and another time..
i went to draw money and constantly remind myself to take the atm card..and i did..
but i forgot to take the money i withdraw!! arhx...damn it man..i sux!
i ate too much good food and its fattening..haha..=)
but i like good food..it excites me..=)
hmm..had been disappointing these days..
sigh..and the weather is starting to get wet..
i dun like..it dampen my mood and makes me sad..=(
err..quite sad these few days...=(

2006-02-01T09:40:00.000+08:00

yeah..my life is back to normal..
past few days had been visiting, ang baos, eating nonsense, gossiping and majong..
this year is rather different from the rest:

my second sis cant join us for cny cos she has to work =(
we only do our visiting in the afternoon..thats y our visiting is spread over 3 days..=)
we get to go to my uncles and my place for dinner, not just my ah ma's..
we had a lot of in between majong sessions..that we are now addicted..MAJONG IS ADDICTIVE!
we took super alot of photos.
i didn't eat a lot of cny goodies.
i NEVER get to eat my ba kwa..=(
i do not have school for the whole week! =)

i only remember first dae being a super long dae..i was freaking tired..maybe because of the flashes that almost blinded my eyes..
second dae was rather short..only went visiting for a while then it was majong-ing at my place..
hmmm...went to jalan kayu for lunch yesterdae..
oh man! the prata is no different from the rest larhx..and you have to wait damn long and its expensive.. so no point to such ulu place and eat something normal.. and i think the one at kent ridge is better..
went to marina last night too.. its quite boring except for the fireworks.. =)
i LOVE fireworks..=))
boo! i hate to put photos..cos i have to resize so many times and its so irritating..!! grr.. alright i will try my best..

2006-01-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

on friday...
with the girls!! =)
best-est friends..
from the backkk...
geishas-wanna-be..
=D
on tuesday..FIT presentation..

our credit card..
the best presenters..=D
our W-O-W plan..
i got really cold..haha
with our potential client..

2006-01-28T13:12:00.000+08:00

yeah! todae is chinese new year's eve!
yeppie..i love all the cny goodies..=)
shall blog on what happened yesterdae..
hmm..went to sch for CM presentation..
it went well..haha..
went home to change and put down laptop..
met fel to go shopping first..before meeting the girls..
we had 4 full hours to shop!!
haha..had a late and quick lunch before chionging..haha..
town is super crowded with students and kids..we had to squeeze..
we got super good bargain and it was a fruitful shopping spree..i am happy..=)
and we did manicure with nail arts..super cheaply..
then both of us went to meet the girls..at heeren's nydc..
its great to meet up with the girls again..
it has been ages since i met them esp fangting and lingxiang..
did stupid things and took photos..enjoyed ourselves..
and we ran out of things to do in town..so we headed to serene's house to watch the last espiode of love concierge..whee!
but we continue taking photos at her place..i simply love her place..
hmm..thank you all for making this chinese new year eve eve such a memorable one..=)
and ling xiang, HAPPY BIRTHDAE..=)
*hugs and *kisses..you girls are simply the best..
to all: happy new year! all the best.. stay healthy and happy.. =)

2006-01-26T20:05:00.000+08:00

hmm..i was just thinking..
there are so many issues i want to talk about!!
this is going to be a damn long entry..=]
if a chinese were to marry a malay/indian right..
what would the future of their kids be like..
if say the lady is a chinese..
then somehow or rather..the chinese custom would be lost isnt it..
cos the guys are holding a upper hand..
but then wouldn't it be cool..having a chinese and a malay/indian name..
and you are totally exposed to both cultures..celebrating both culture's festivals like your name..
knowing how to speak one more language..
but the root is like unclear..your origin is mixed up already..
its so confusing..your kid will be unclear of his/her background..
surprisingly, my parents are fine with it..
but i will never never never get into a r/s with a different race..
i am not being racist and i am fine being friends with them..
but something more than friends...hmmm...sorry..no talk..haha..
it isnt that simple of just accept your other half as race..
its a whole load more than you can imagine..=)
i totally respect all of those couples..=D

there is this other issue..
i was looking out of the window on my way to school..
then i see wives driving husband to work..
some wives are not even in business wear..more like in their pyjamas..
i think its so so so sweet..
especially with maybe a little kid at the back seat strapped in the baby seat..
its like a perfect family potrait..simple and heart warming..
and with a little kiss good bye..
then the wife will go pick the husband from work after his work..
and a little kiss to take away his tiredness..
isnt it sweet..but some guys will find it not manly..
and the lady might not want to run such errands..
they would rather do shopping, etc..
but i think for me..i would..cos it is so sweet..=P
hmmm...but i dun have a car licence..does that mean i should go get one..

valentine's day is coming..well..
i guess it will just be another dae..=)
so was just talking online about what your dream date..
its sounds totally impractical, but a dream is a dream..
it is not going to happen in singapore..
both of us are dress in formal..
he picks me up from my place with a bouquet of flowers in hand and drove me to this building..
we go all the way up..to the airplane landing..
and there is this private jet waiting for us..
and we hop on to the jet..with a pilot..
and where candle lit dinner with wine is going to be served..
slowly enjoying the food, taking in the night scenery of the city from up above and spending quality with him in a totally different environment..
just me and him [excluding the pilot] in this small space there is so close to all the other planets and stars..=)
and suddenly in the midst of the whole peacefulness, there is fireworks!!
with both our names..the declaration of love..isnt it sweet..
slowly as it touch down and get off the jet, there is a live band playing music..
and both of us got into the mood for a slow romantic dance..
dance and dance and dance until we are both tired..
we just lie down on the ground and do star gazing..
with a sky filled with stars..we talked about everything - our future, his dream, my dream- out of the blue he pops out a diamond ring..
what happens after that..i have no idea..
cos basically, this is how many dream valentine date is..
is rather impractically and its more like a fantasy..
well..i am dreaming..=)
anyway, as long as the company is right..everydae is valentine's day..=DD

2006-01-25T20:01:00.000+08:00

yeppie yeah..i am happy..
1 presentation done..
we did well..damn well..=)
all the effort to be creative, to be as unique and to dress up formal..they are all worth it..
great job guys.. its a job well done.. 2 thumbs up!

hmm..cut short on these few day's happenings..
been to chinatown for a little stroll..this year is rather special..
went for a vegetarian dinner for cny..
gosh..the food is rather..hmm..i dunno the word to describe..
in substitute for shark fin soup, we had pumpkin soup..=X
for abalone, we had sliced vege. fish cake..
the best is the desert..tang yuan in the red bean paste..i like..=)
speaking of food.. the HK super famous heng xiang lao po bing has come to singapore..it is at Great World city's basement [outside the cold storage] .. yeah!
I SHALL CONTINUE LATER..

not the full lyrics though..
Black Eyed Peas - Don't lie
She said I'm leaving
Cos she can't take the pain
It's hard to continue this love it ain't the same
Can't forget the things that I've done inside her brain
Too many lies committed too many games
She feeling like a fool getting on the last train
Trying to maintain but the feeling won't change
I'm sorry for the things that I've done and what I became
Caught up in living my life in the fast lane
Blinded by lights, cameras, you know the fame
I don't know the reason why I did these things

Yo, I'm lying to my girl
Even though I love her
And she all in my world
I give her all my attention and diamonds & pearls
She's the one who makes me feel on top of the world
Still I lie to my girl, I do it
And I lie and I lie and I lie till there's no turning back
I don't know why (and I lie and I lie till I don't know who I am)

2006-01-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

i had been quite down lately. i dunno why.
when all the stress and sadness pile up..
i totally collapsed.. i submit myself..
i am sorry..
i burden too much on you..
i just added a load of stress on you instead of relieving them didnt i?

thank you for everything..

i appreciate what you did..

for what i did..i apologize..

chinese new year is just this weekend..
but i am totally not in the mood for it..
i dunno why..
i dun even feel like wearing new clothes, getting red packets..
is that the effect of stress?

there are just so many things i want to sae..
but then its like restricted..
its a closed space..

2006-01-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

i dunno if its me pms-ing..
or izzit that i am too sensitive..
hmmm...i shan't think so much..
and start studying for the final exams..
all these things that happened,
i only know that i miss you..
i dunno what else..
what can i sae..

2006-01-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

sigh..yeah..tomorrow is the handing up of the last major project..
finally..had been sleeping so little..
i look like an old auntie..
i am super restless..
everything is upside down..
i had one of the massive headache i ever had today..
i am almost died..
alright..
dun let me worry about anything anymore..
i have enough white hair that i should have at the age in the first place..
thank you those who had been there..
i may not have thank you personally..but i aprreciate it with my heart..
i lost a friend..aint that sad..alright..too bad for me..
but thank for the time..though it was short..
but well it meant a lot to me..

'cos i am broken..'

2006-01-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

for the past few weeks, i had been trying to steal my neighbours' wireless..
its freaking slow and i keep getting disconnected..its crappy..
when is my dad going to realise that our house needs a damn wireless..!!
i am still waiting for the dae to come where i can surf the net on my bed at the speed of 3000Mbps...!!!
alright..i do nothing but rushing projects for the past few daes..
finally we handed up 2 last week..
todae is a brand new week and we are competing with time to rush any 2 projects to hand in..one by wed and another by fri..
and we are having not one, BUT TWO formal presentations next week..sigh...
gosh..in the midst of almost getting drown by projects..
i had a nice fun shopping day with you..
alright it was tiring larhx..we combed the whole orchard..
apparently we were feasting instead of shopping..
cos we didnt get a single thing..but a stomach filled with good food..
i am contented..=) not a teeny weeny bit guilty of the additional fats, carbs.....=X
the weather has turned to the typical singapore weather..cool..
hmmm..chinese new year is nearing..but i just havent got the time and the company to go chinatown with..=( not exactly in the festive mood..
i cant seems to catch up with the fast paced life..
i think its best for me to stay in rural kampong area..=)
actually i am quite sick of waiting..
waiting for this..waiting for that..
and you dunno what is the outcome and the result..
i hate that waiting process..
i should stop complaining..
shut my trap and be quiet..and not be so loud..

2006-01-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

alright..had been rushing projects..
tomorrow is the big dae..
for the 2 projects..
damn tired lehx..
and the singapore weather is super irritating..
the rain is super idiotic..
i hate the weather..
cos u dunno what to wear..
if u jeans, it will get wet and not dry..
if u wear skirt, its going to be cold..
it u wear shorts also cold..
then u go out, have to get wet..
unless u bring an umbrella..
its like the perfect weather to sleep..
but u have to go school..
and the weather totally spoils ur shopping dae..
this sux..
i am complaining..
i am lazy to upload the photos..
anydae ok..i promise..

2006-01-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

grabbed this from sam and i checked it out..
which left me in a state of shock..haha..can i trade..

My blog is worth $15,242.58.
How much is your blog worth?

2006-01-08T20:44:00.000+08:00

alright, lets do a quick update for the past few daes and then do a more thorough update for what happened todae..
so basically, lets see..fri went to school to do project..
then left after like 3 - 4 hours, and went to hm's house to do proj. but ended playing board games, eating a lot of rubbish, watch a lot of shows..
then went out with shaun and gang..had a long night..fun time....=)
xing drove! haha..good driver with lousy direction sense..oops..=X
sat was a damn crappy dae for me..
dun wish to comment..
and now for todae!yeah yeah yeah!!
todae is super fun..but kinda tiring ..and a lil long..and a lil turn off by the rain..
well..todae is NP's X!CAPADE event thingy at ngee ann city..
best friends supposingly were to meet at 730 and go for the Delifrance's buffet before going for the event..drag here and there..
then ask reached at 745 am..but delifrance is like dark.. so we went to ask the worker inside..they sae never start so early..about 8 like that..so we sat there while waiting for the super late eddie..then 8am we went in and asked again..they sae their colleagues cannot make it in time cos they are having some emergency exercise thingy..and they also dunno what time they will make it, so not sure what time the buffet will start..i was like WHAT THE FCUK! quite pissed off cos both girls were damn hungry..wanted to go killiney kopitiam to eat kaya toast..but then we found a franchise killiney at lucky plaza..the food there sux alright..the egg, the bread, the kaya..BOO!! the best is still the tea larhx..though they gave us coffee at first and insisted it was tea..well..then took super alot of photos..while..somebody was busy..then went for the event, but is was raining so nobody would be in town so early larhx..so went to walk around and slack and chill and take photos..then went to watch performance..it is quite good..quite entertaining..though i was a lil tired by the rain..then after that went to crystal jade xiao long bao and la mian for lunch..quite cool larhx..in order not to embarass myself by asking the waitress to cut my noodles, i was the only person there using fork and spoon cos the noodles are like super duper long..haha..really must LLAAAA the mian to eat lehx..=) first time eating crystal jade with classmates and it is damn fun..=] then went back to our booth and played the game for a little while..then went the boy bands performance..some were like noise some were like very nice..=) then the rain just never get smaller as time passes..sigh..and the crowd was like..hmmm...you know..so the whole event ended early..=) oh yah! the gifts that NP gives out are like damn good ok..ipod shuffle..sony ericsson W550i, W520i and the 3G Z600..whee..haha..then decided to go home after that, the four of us were trying to get some transport home and in the mean time trying to get ourselves as dry as possible..haha..then we decided to hitch umbrellas..haha..super duper funny and quite cool and quite fun..=) thats about all for todae..=) hmm..i will upload photos as soon as i got them..until then...

2006-01-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

2006-01-07T13:37:00.000+08:00

with christmas tree..

2006-01-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

at eddie's place for steamboat..

2006-01-07T13:29:00.000+08:00

2006-01-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

this is from serene's cam at the school's party night..=)
miss the girlsss..

2006-01-06T13:01:00.000+08:00

for this entry, i am going to wirte in complete sentences. ok so here goes, apparently someone is dying for me to update my blog cos someone is deprived of updated blog entries to read.=) alright! you know who you are, so no names given ok. =)
lets do a quick upate. this is friday which is a supposedly slack or rest day! but never mind, we are in school doing project right now [supposedly] but well, we are off to do our own personal things. oh well. so common tests ended on wednesdae. and it was a hassle larhx. it wasnt that bad. both papers were do-able. [found in page 356 of peiyingtionary] hmm..went shopping after that. had been shopping super alot lately. what to do. new year is coming so everybody HAS to shop. it is not something avoidable. oh well. then went shopping again on thurs. there are like so many things for me to buy. oh yah! not to mention. i am having 6 days of holidaes. whoohoo. there is ample time to do for holidaes like 3 daes 2 nights to KL or genting. but well, under circumstances to save money because of this and that, i have to budget. really badly. haha. in order to save money, i better stay at home. hmmm. the moment you step out your house right, there is really no way you cannot spend a single cents. izzit for me only? alright, i will continue tonight.

2006-01-02T14:07:00.000+08:00

i really shouldnt be blogging..or even online in the first place..
but its 2006 man!! i feel the need to blog..
damn the school larhx..stupid to put common tests after to freaking fun holidaes..!!
hmm..after 2005 seriously flew past me..
2005 went by super fast..
this year is like damn happening..cos i am 18..haha
i accomplished so many things..ON MY OWN..
of cos there were ups and downs ..
but oh well.. we learn from mistakes..
there were sad and happy moments..
and thats part of life..
i am just contented with what i have..
but not exactly where i am right now..
so when have dreams, you would want to pursue for more and a better something right..
if thats the case, how would you be contented with what u have..hmm..
its contridicting..hmmm....
for 2006, i shall not make any more stupid and ridiculous new year resolutions..
which i have a big problem trying to keep them..
well..peiying has never become a systematic and organised person..
hmmm....but i should really save some money for emergency and go for less shopping spreee..
well.........happy new year to everybody..
CHINESE NEW YEAR is cominggg...
better slim down a little to fit into one size smaller clothings..
and then gain back during the festive season..haha..
oh man...i love the food..

2005-12-29T19:35:00.000+08:00

"I dun like the smell of cigarettes.
You can't kick the habit because of me.
This shows how unimportant and insignficant I mean to you in your heart."
-quoted from Love Concierge.

2005-12-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

i ripped this off from huimin's blog..thanx huimin..i noe u wun mind..=)
kinda find it meaningful..quite touching larhx..this is to guys..

Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind.
If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings.
Girls are there to be loved, not TOYED around.
Love her for who she is.
Don't even think about changing any bit about her.
6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities.
She's special & she will stay that way.
You change any part of her, you'll change her forever.
Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.

Love whole-heartedly.
She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treasure her.
She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love.
So love her guys, not play with her.

Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever.
If you're with her, love her.
Don't cause a strain in the relationship.
Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be.

Don't expect perfection from her.
She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could.

Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her.
If you want her to tell you everything, do the same.
Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way?
Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single.
You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams.
Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.

It never kills to be romantic.
Think, be flexible.
Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you.
Something sweet & simple always get the job done.
Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.

Love her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached guys.
Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity.
Remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her & make sure you never break it.
Swear to her & make sure you keep it.
Pledge your love to her & her alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to.
Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.
That's love.
Give her your heart, your life, your everything.

Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises.
But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life.
She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die.
It her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory.
Don't leave her once you've won her love.
Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death.
If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can fulfill your promise.
Win her heart & love her forever.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
Respect her for the way she is, never despise her & never mistreat her, never even think of toying with her...

2005-12-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

this stinks..
i am there 24-7..
you know like i am at your service..
like how mac's delivery is there for everyone single customer..
yeah..thats me..i think thats my part time job..
but i just dun get paid..
you need me, you call me.. [oh wait, not even call!]
you dun need me, you fcuking hell lurge me in the dump..
its like the call comes, i have to be there you know..
at least mac has this errr..30 mins policy or something..
well done.. good job..
thank a millions..
at the veri minimal..i think i deserve respect..
well..fcuk respect..

2005-12-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

tired..i am totally worn out..
i think thank and thought..
there are really some things that used to me mine
but isnt mine anymore..
and there are also some things that were never mine..
somehow or rather it actually came into my life..
there are really things i can never take back..
why is it that i have to look back and regret those things i didnt noe..
or did do..
seriously this is bullshit..
there are things so fcuking detached to me
that i dunno whether i should fcuking care about it..
but then again..there are things that i dun want to care but i cant..
what the fcuk..
i am still still living it fantasy ehx..
where life is great..happy..no worries at all..
and everything ends with this happily ever after bulls..
FUCK IT!!!!!
why didnt the fever burnt my brain along with all my braincells..
damnit..so i dun have to think..
not anymore..
when some fcuking matters start to eat you up from the inside..
there is totally nothing u can do about it..
and i mean nothing..absoultely nothing at all..
u have to either live with it..
or die..sigh..
-pukes..
there are really just some things that even when given one millenium i would not be able to get over with..you get it?
maybe just not in this life time alright..
i have eyes to see who is dear to me,
who are the ones who will be there to go thru thick and thin..
i maybe be short sighted but i am just not blind..
i want to go home..
michael buble's home is a perfect song to cry to right now..
go away..

Michael Buble - Home
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be allright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

2005-12-26T14:12:00.000+08:00

i love christmas..=)
its fun, fun and more fun..
this year is rather different..
its more laid back.just chilling out and catching up..
something different from the past few years..=)
caught narnia on christmas eve..
i liked that show!! its nice nice nice nice!!!
hmmm..new year is coming soon..
which means 2005 is ending!!
gosh..time really flies man..
well..wad can i sae..
merry x'mas to all..
be happy..
enjoy the rest of 2005..

2005-12-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

2005-12-19T21:04:00.000+08:00

best friendsss..

2005-12-19T21:00:00.000+08:00

ok..relax..dun be jealous..=)

p/s: dun i look tan..hehee..=P

2005-12-19T20:52:00.000+08:00

got bored..haha..

2005-12-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

on the tram..going homeee...

2005-12-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

our stunts..

2005-12-19T20:41:00.000+08:00

group photo.. =)

2005-12-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

we love the sun..=]

2005-12-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

we got a little bored..

2005-12-19T12:31:00.000+08:00

yeah!!

2005-12-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

[pretty]

2005-12-19T12:15:00.000+08:00

2005-12-18T12:54:00.000+08:00

christmas is in one week's time..
i am happy..
though i hadnt been the happiest for the past week..
the christmas spirit got the better of me..
hmm..anyway..
been rather busy..playing..
had been playing and playing a lot..
haha..
but then..
its the 2 weeks holidaes break..
of cos we just play non stop..
haha..
i want to watch perhaps love, king kong and narnia..=)
i want to go for christmas shopping too..
i havent started except getting stuffs for myself..
haha..i am guilty..as charged..
shall stop here..continue some other time..
enjoy ur holidaes..

2005-12-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

i want to go for the airborne dive..

this is crap..

it eating me up from the inside..

slowly..torturing me..

2005-12-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

i am happy todae..=)
yah..besides..that stupid incident..
actually todae is just an average dae..
i dunno..nothing much did happened..
just wanted to blog to kill my boredom..
todae a lot of people called me to chat..=)
these really brighten my dae..
thank you all for brightening this boring mondae..
december is a month filled with love..=)
alright..i dunno wad to type anymore..
*hugss..take care..

2005-12-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

thank you all for everything you have done for me..
an undying love for you..
haha..8 daes in total..
thank you for talking to me..
i might not have wanted to know..
but then i still thank you for telling me..
sigh..
now that i noe..i have to know how to deal with it..
it will make me fall back to the depression pit..
baby please..
save me..
tell me the things are fake..
tell me they are lying..
tell me there is no other..
tell me the truth..
tell me you didnt lie..
geeshh..just tell me the truth..
i dun want to be the most forgiving person..

2005-12-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

alright..one week..7 daes..
this is the best le..
i am this is the U-L-T-I-M-A-T-E..
it should be able to keep be on cloud 9 for maybe 2 weeks or so..
i am veri happy..=)
i am going to start all my random thoughts..
all chuck up..anyhow..
people around PLEASE stop asking me bout this and that..
there is no problem..so stop it stop it stop it..
yah things have changed..
it isnt like the past anymore..
i lived with it..so you guys should too ok..
i wouldnt sae it is bad..but errr..
look at it from another point of view..
it is GREAT.. [at least i think it is supposed to me]
this headache mania left me spinning in my own world..
it is craziness..
there are actually a few things that i learnt to do it without you..
quite sad isnt it..
but its ok..i found a few khakis who are willing to to do it with me..
at least they are willing to larhx..
having insomnia these daes..real bad man..which sux big time..
staring into spaces..enjoying the serenity..
thinking back or ahead or wadsoever to ease your mind..
and a cup of milk to make you relax..
this is wad i learnt how to kill the time..
feel like taking a stroll..
breathe in the fresh air..
alright..that it for todae..=)

2005-12-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

hmm..i am still floating around..
hahahahaha..6 daes le..
tomorrow is 7 daes..haha..
i am gay..
i am gay..
anyway..dun bother about the things i sae..
do what you think is right..
dun do what you think is wrong..
make the wrong move..
you are screwed..
i may be blunt..straight forward..
but what i sae is what i feel..
what i think is right might not be what you think is right..
what you think is not wrong..might be wrong for me..
i am alwaes open for opinions..
there is no right and no wrong in this..
so we have to learn right right..
there is nothing to hide..
i maybe small but i am not a pushover..
so i have my say too..
wadeva izzit..
i am still gay gay gay gay gay..
peiying is happy..
had been happy..
will be happy..

2005-11-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

5 days and counting!!
yeppie..i have been the most happiesttt for the past 5 daes..
though i am not at the best of health..
u noe actually things have already changed..
i wouldnt sae it is better or worse..
cos i cant really take a stand..hmm..
and i cannot sae that the past is definitely better..
some things are better in the past..
but some things are better now..
i am loving my life now..really..
though i am treating myself veri badly..
ill-treating my whole body..
but i have never been this happy..this high..
this satisfying..this enjoy..this out of words to descibe..
alright..i am over the moon..=)
be happy for me..
be happy everyone..=)
everydae is a brand new happy dae..yeah!

2005-11-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

just got a bad feeling..
and its making my stomach turn..
with butterflies flying..
making me want to puke..
so fucked up..
all of a sudden i feel like crying..
cry everything out..
tmr will be a better day..
anyway, i like that photo..

2005-11-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

2005-11-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

basically i am still slacking..
and december is coming soon..=)
and dec is the slackiest month..
and i want to see snow..
hmmm..
maybe next year ba..
tmr is kaiwei's bdae..
the dae after is junyan's bdae
and the dae after after is eddie's bdae..
haha..
u noe wad..i want to go to every club in singapore..haha..=)
isnt that cool..
well..wadeva..
i am sleepy..
good night..

2005-11-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

you know when somebody say i miss you or anything sweet..
its felt with the heart..
you dont say it cos u noe the person wants to hear that..
just to make him/her happy..
if you really miss someone, i believe that person will be able to feel it..
whether u sae it or not..
i mean of cos when you really miss someone..you can express yourself..
i am not trying to sae you cant..but..
i hate it when people make empty promises..
what is the whole fucking point..
its is fucking stupid..
avoiding doesnt solve anything..
i dunno wads with me larhx..
but i am freaking pissed off right now..
so i am just bullshitting around..
type nonsense cos everything seems to be going haywired..
and i am lost..i am very lost..
and i dunno wad is the fucking point of living anymore..
i just have the inspiration to do this one thing..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
and this is not ok..
sigh..
sigh..
sigh..
i am not ok..
sigh..
but its ok..
sigh..

2005-11-16T19:27:00.000+08:00

sigh..school is really stressing me out..
the academic calender is so short..
suddenly i feel like drinking man..die!!
cheers cheers to everyone..haha..
actually nothing much to write about..
having headache right now..
sleeping is a total waste of time..
therefore..i dunno...
zonk out..
very emo these few days..
i love the song..untitled by simple plan..
its the perfect song to cry..whether there is something or nothing to cry about..
and good charlotte's we believe..
another emo song..the mtv is the best man! i love that song..
it makes me cry too..

2005-11-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

yeah..finally my laptop is ok..
toshiba really sux big time..screw it!
this sem really flies..only 17 weeks of studying..
gosh..this is only the third week and we have to start rushing for projects..
dun even have time to slack..cannot play larhx..
very stressed lehhx..
somemore this is a festive season!! christmas, new year, chinese new year..
but ngee ann is good this year.. they allow us to have 2 weeks of hols!!
yeppie..long enough to go for a lil shopping spree at thailand..
any takers? haha..=)
everyone is like chiong-ing to take licence larhx..
why sia..i still slacking..haha..
sigh..i shall let people drive me around..=)

2005-11-05T13:28:00.001+08:00

this really sux..i had been attempting to write the final report for the attachment for the whole morning. guess wad!! i havent even reach 1000 words..not to the sae the minimum of 1500 words..and i have ran out of stuffs to write already. gosh..this actually shows how boring my 6 weeks of attachment is..sigh..anyway,
the first week of school flew past, given the 2 public holidaes..why didnt the school just start one week later. and give us one more week of holidaes..dumb! anyway, first week was just lecutres and lectures. the feeling of going back to school is great. cos i dun have to do anymore calling.. haha..and i get to see my friends..i sound deprived..which i think i really had been..and i do NOT miss school food..hadnt been a good girl..skipped 2 lectures yesterdae..went to play pool too..haha..and we had lotsa fun..oh yah..bought a calculator which costs $35..i thought wad wonderful magic can that calculator perform..but well..it looks like some old..yellowish..retro calculator..haha..but apparently it is called a finiancial calculator and we need it..so well..yep..went to town..they are putting up the christmas trees, lightings and decorations already..pretty pretty..christmas is coming soon..one more month or so..yeah..!!i love christmas.. get to go christmas shopping..=) had a rather nice week..oh yah..went to visit ben..his ward quite nice ehx..haha..i abit turtle..never go before..GET WELL SOON..=)

2005-11-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

2005-11-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

2005-11-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

-old school...

2005-11-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

it still scares me..
cos i dunno wad to expect next..
the freaking truth..
damn it..
screw it..
wad shall i do..
maybe pray harder..
fcuk it..
i rather not know than to be the last to know..

2005-11-01T18:19:00.000+08:00

yay! attachment is over!!
the last week breeze pass..
yesterdae was the first dae of school and it was boring..
so went to town..catch a freaking boring movie..
and went shopping..and got zhoujielun's newest album..
*happy..
skipped the halloween party at zouk..sorry girl..
was damn tired..had been thinking a real lot..
and decided to set my heart on some stuffs..
i dunno whether i can reach it..
its a total darkness..not even a glimpse of light..
sigh..where is the guardian angel..
that is supposed to guide me when nobody is there to..
where life is hopeless and lifeless..
anyway..
happy birthdae jon!

2005-10-20T21:37:00.000+08:00

HUIMIN, where are you!!!

2005-10-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

escalators crazeee....

2005-10-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

..ESCALATORS..

2005-10-20T21:12:00.000+08:00

we love escalators!!

2005-10-20T21:01:00.000+08:00

.newest commerical.

2005-10-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

*cable car..(=

2005-10-20T20:20:00.000+08:00

2005-10-16T18:33:00.000+08:00

the MAFIA night.. =P

2005-10-16T18:32:00.000+08:00

why do u look bored? =)